@Tups13: No strings attached relationships are all fun and games until you fall for a guitar. Or a marionette. Or a yo-yo.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: [at my funeral] ventriloquist: please don't judge me, he paid me a lot of money to do this me: hi everybody!
@LurkAtHomeMom: If my 6 year old tells me someone was "mean to him" I never know if they stole his bike or tried to cook him a healthy meal.
@dril: BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES