@3sunzzz: No thank you, gym membership. The only thing worse than riding a bike is riding a bike that goes nowhere.
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@Dutch_50: A co-worker is retiring, so they're passing a card around filled with cash. I only took $10 but normally my signature is worth much more.
@ValeeGrrl: My son has a play-date today & the mom said to dress him in holiday colors so he's in all black & I'm telling her we worship the dark lord.
@KenJennings: Rationally, I now understand that my parents were always Santa, but I still don't get how they made it to all those houses in one night.
@Mitchoacan: Told my boss I would be turning in my badge and my gun. He said you work in IT, why do you have a gun.