@squirrel74wkgn: No thank you, shower sex. I'll just step out of the shower and injure myself the old fashioned way.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@curlymalloy: An Apple a day may keep the Doctor away!!!... But an Onion a day keeps Everybody away!!!
@dafloydsta: [marriage counseling] She's constantly mad at me "There are squirrels living in our house" THEY WERE HOMELESS, KAREN
@TheHyyyype: [locksmith finishes replacing my lock] ME: so how do i know you won't come in later and steal stuff? LOCKSMITH: *looks around the inside of my house* i wouldn't worry about it
@JayCee302: The asian girl I'm playing chess against is really hot, you might say she's worth a... *puts on sunglasses* "Second rook"