@squirrel74wkgn: No thank you, shower sex. I'll just step out of the shower and injure myself the old fashioned way.
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@iSmashFizzle: Me: It's not illegal to be rude to cops. Them: Well, if you poke a bear, what do you expect? Me: That's why we don't make bears cops.
@beefman138: Wife : A jogger was murdered in the park last night. Me : Well that's all the motivation I need. *Goes for a jog in the park*