@squirrel74wkgn: No thank you, shower sex. I'll just step out of the shower and injure myself the old fashioned way.
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@shariv67: Whenever someone says smart phones are turning people into zombies, look up from your phone just long enough to bite them.
@myonlymizztake: Just finished leg day with my new trainer and now I need to replace the stairs in my house with an elevator. Or shower in the kitchen sink?
@nowarranty: If I say, "Don't worry, I'm on it," there's a 98% chance I'm referring to my couch.
@FuckabillyRex: I just saw an old guy pick a rubber glove out of a garbage can and put it on, and I think he might be missing the point of rubber gloves.