@mrtruthandsoul: No thanks, ads to buy more followers; I get them the old-fashioned way: by telling them they're gonna die and I can save them.
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@dragonsorbet: [Picking up girls] Me: you like bad boys, huh? Girls: yea Me to my wing man: tell them Wing man: he's just literally the worst
@Brampersandon_: ME: when I was 12 I got the flu so bad I had to be in the hospital GUY WHO TRIES TO ONE-UP EVERY STORY: oh yeah? when I was 13 I died
@magicChopstick: Spider Man, Spider Man Chillin' in his camper van Kickin' back, drinkin' booze head to toe in sweet tattoos Hang on That is not Spider Man