@ericsshadow: No thanks Audi; I get all the uncompromised luxury I can handle by driving whatever car my wife thinks makes me look the most married.
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@tarashoe: haha remember when you were a kid you'd hide inside the clothes racks at stores. can't do that as an adult. someone's stupid kid is in there
@MatCro: ELECTRICIAN: [walks into home] GF: WHY ARE YOU IN SO LATE? E: Honey, we've talked about this. GF: [sadly] Ok.... wire you insulate?
@RobElliottComic: 911: What's your emergency? Me: I need several Ambuli stat! 911: Ambuli? Me: Yea plural for Ambulance 911: No its not Me: It should be
@kwirkyKerri: *at movie theater* M: I'll take a large popcorn with extra butter. H: Sure. What movie are you seeing? M: I'm not.