@OhNoSheTwitnt: No thanks, babies. If I'm going to let something inside of my body that's going to destroy my figure, it'll be cheese, bread and booze.
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@OctopusCavemann: My grandpa was always full of wise sayings. I’ll never forget the last thing he said. “Don’t unplug that you dummy.”
@Smooheed: "Taking a perfect selfie is just a matter of perfect lighting and applying the right filter" *puts sheet over head* *turns off light*
@Zombie_Kit: Scary shit happens in horror movies at 3am. So when hubby woke up screaming with a leg cramp at 3am, I threw the bible at him.