@DebraMuffin: No thanks, cosmetics lady. I'm years past 'bare & natural'. Save us both some time & show me the stuff you'd need to prep & refinish a wall.
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@TheToddWilliams: [grocery produce aisle] ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots? CLERK: No, why do you ask? CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?
@Adam_Kingsnorth: Well doctor, my problem is basically this: when it snows, my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
@TheTweetOfGod: When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it means you've been using Apple Maps.