@Love_bug1016: No thanks Cupid. If I wanted butterflies and my heart skipping beats, I would do something less ridiculous like lose my phone.
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@darinlovesbacon: If aliens ever attack, I hope they do it in rows of 8, going right and left directly above me. I'm very skilled at shooting aliens this way
@dizzydes86: Everybody always says they want a fairytale wedding, but when I show up and curse their newborn, suddenly I'm a jerk.
@sixfootcandy: Welcome to middle age. Prepare to pay for everything you’ve done to your body over the last 40 years.