@TheMichaelRock: No thanks, flu shot. I look forward to three days off from work and returning looking like I was on a diet for six weeks.
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@Vodkantots: Well well well. If it isn't old Saint Nick trying to slide down this chimney after ignoring my texts for a year.
@volks__: Doctor: Any cancer in the family? Me: My mom is a Sagittarius, but I'll have to check on everyone else. Doc: ...
@CassandrasJack: I call bullshit on dogs being mans best friend. That little m'effer didn't lift a paw when I moved. Not him or all his little friends