@JaymayAllDay: "No thanks, I filled up on breadsticks." - Eve to the Serpent in the Olive Garden of Eden
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@iamburtjarvis: british waiter: what topping would ye fancy on yer pizza? british guy: tea british waiter: jolly good choice [both laugh britishingly]
@EtobicokeErnie: Statistics show that married men live a lot longer than single men. However married men are a lot more willing to die.
@Cheeseboy22: Pretty disappointed to find out that "Toys for Tots" isn't a program where I trade my kids's toys for delicious tater tots.
@ThaJawn: (Animal school) Lion: That's my desk Wildebeast: Sorry, I'm gnu -5 minutes later Sloth: *slowly falling from chair* Ha. Ha. Ha. Gnu!