@tsm560: No thanks, I only date women who aren’t into me.
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@LaceyNycole: 2-year-old: *points to my belly* Baby! Me: Yep, there's a baby in there! Will you love it? 2: I eat it. Well that escalated quickly.
@C00LpenNAME: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" Obituary: died of Malaria, Small Pox, Polio, & the flu
@gurl_sour: My autocorrect changes c**ts to China. Hey don't blame me. I'm not the racist code programmer.