@Jenny4ashley: No thanks, marriage. If I wanted to stop getting laid I would just start wearing crocs.
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@BadassBarbie11: The fact that this peanut butter jar states that it "Contains Peanuts" makes me extremely nervous for the human race.
@Skullcat: Hate to brag, but a cute fireman gave me his number today. It's only 3 digits & he said it's only for emergencies, but I know what he meant
@trentistweeting: Bee Gees Songs: Saturday Night Fever Sunday Night Scurvy Monday Night Measles Tuesday Night Typhoid Wednesday Night Whooping Cough
@SondraDeeMe: You going to eat those sausages? - What? The encased meats. Do you want them? - Those are my fingers. Oh, no thanks, I'm not there yet.