@Jenny4ashley: No thanks, marriage. If I wanted to stop getting laid I would just start wearing crocs.
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@tigersgoroooar: If a boy put rose petals all over my bed I’d be like you’re cleaning this up I’m not cleaning this up
@k_lli: Social butterfly? Nah. I'm more like a social Sasquatch. Some people swear they've seen me, but no one really believes them.
@ChipKellysBalls: Why is it the the people who drink the most Red Bull are the people who seem to have the least going on?