@Jenny4ashley: No thanks, marriage. If I wanted to stop getting laid I would just start wearing crocs.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ehdannyboy: "I'm leaving you" "why?" "Your jokes are old and tiresome" "but, I can updog" "What's updog?" "NOTHIN, WHAT'S UP WI-" *slams door*
@Boo_berries_: Kidnapper: Pay up or I'll leak your nudes Me: So what? K: Then I'll tweet your drafts M: Ok don't do anything crazy we can work this out
@Raahael: "Whatever you do in bed, Sealy supports it". Clearly whoever came up with that ad doesn't watch CSI.