@Jenny4ashley: No thanks, marriage. If I wanted to stop getting laid I would just start wearing crocs.
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@XplodingUnicorn: The heaviest things in the world: 4) iron 3) lead 2) tungsten 1) a toddler who doesn’t want to be picked up
@_Mo_lee_: Guys with balls hangin from ur truck. that would mean ur truck is a man,yes? Which means you like to be inside a dude all day. Lol homo. : p
@Mikecanrant: A huge gorgeous butterfly landed on my arm just now. Naturally I screamed and flailed my arms around frantically, but lovely really.
@DaddyJew: Trainer: have you been sticking to your diet? Me: *tries to mumble yes but a chicken wing falls out of my mouth*