@errdayhustlah: No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I'd go on a road trip with my mom.
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@ThaJawn: Werewolf's wife: IDGAF! It's a full moon tonight and I will not have you shedding all over! Outside, now!
@NervousJr: Friend: your not going to believe this but my whole family was killed in a freak accident! Me: *you're
@david8hughes: Wife: morning Me: good morning Wife: my parents are coming over for dinner tonight Me [pouring bleach in my coffee]: uh huh that's great
@dafloydsta: Now that Christmas is over, don't forget to be thankful for all the children in China who made your kid's toys.