@desi_princess: No thanks officer. I don't even give strange men my phone number, and you're asking for my license and registration.
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@TheRomanParker: Oh, you like Five Guys hamburgers more than In-N-Out? *unfollows *blocks *stews *hires assassin on Craigslist *unblocks to monitor situation
@TheMichaelRock: Wanna have a little fun? Go to Facebook and post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!
@TheRolo: I just spilled my last beer while reaching over to hit "ignore caller" on my phone. Why do bad things happen to good people?
@ChipKellysBalls: To celebrate Boxing Day on Friday, I had a five minute training montage and beat the shit out of the biggest Russian I could find ...