@theshamingofjay: No thanks World Cup, if I wanted to watch a bunch of guys unsuccessfully try to score I'll just stay on Twitter.
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@KevinFarzad: Why would you name your human child Hunter? Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist.
@meatlobes: *im applying Chapstick and doing curtseys in the mirror* *dad walks past* *dad double takes* *im doing push-ups and drinkin a protein snake*
@murrman5: "Behold, a 3 headed cat" "um, its just 3 cats taped together" "Behold, a 12 legg...*tape rips, one cat runs away*..errr 8 legged cat."
@kchees: All the single ladies put your hands up! *handcuffs all the single ladies together and pushes them off a cliff* I'm your only option now.