@Ygrene: No time to exercise? Get the results of a 30 minute workout in only 3 seconds by accidentally stepping on your cat on the stairs in the dark
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@TheCamelToe_: I don't care about all the nasty stuff people put on here about Nicki Minaj. I'll still suck her c**k anytime.
@scorpiusryan21: Had a skype interview yesterday and I completely avoided the fact that I am actually a centaur
@bridger_w: I eat the first half of a burrito to get full, I eat the second half to teach myself a lesson
@batkaren: ME: I give you all my love and infection. HIM: Um. Don't you mean love and 'affection'? ME: ... HIM: ... ME: You should get tested.