@CulturedRuffian: "No way." -Jose
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thenatewolf: *mugger pulls a knife* Mugger: gimme your money Me: well this night took a SHARP turn *later* Doctor: it's a record for amount of stabs
@Dutch_50: Pretty certain the day I die my body will be found tangled in Saran Wrap with an untouched sandwich on the counter.
@Anon_o_Mom: My husband accidentally texted mewting instead of meeting. Now I can't stop picturing a bunch of kittens in a conference room.
@IamEnidColeslaw: okay Mary that guy just smiled at you play it cool oh my god he's coming over here play it cool play it cool HI THERE I'M WEARING TWO BRAS