@DannyZuker: "No woman, no cry." - Tarzan breaking up with girlfriend.
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@LizHackett: ME: My dog's so happy I'm working from home. DOG (to camera): Honestly, a heads up would have been nice. I had shit planned today.
@noneofyours99: I showed my family facebook a few years ago, and haven't heard from them since. Best decision ever
@fro_vo: Sketch Artist: describe the man who attacked you Me: he had dark hair- Sketch Artist: one sec the Peanuts Character Creator is still loading