@CulturedRuffian: 'No you can't have cake! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Here, eat this fried flour with butter and maple syrup.' -Moms
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@bobvulfov: DEODORANT: ugh i hate my job, gotta go in his gross armpit all the time TOILET PAPER: bro
@holypurgatory: A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
@Tmoney68: Just overheard someone say they need an "escape goat" for their project & I can't decide if they're a complete idiot or an evil genius.