@CulturedRuffian: 'No you can't have cake! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Here, eat this fried flour with butter and maple syrup.' -Moms
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@nbadag: [jurassic world] ME: so what ur saying is, no one milks the dinosaurs bc it's too dangerous TOUR GUIDE: that is not what i'm saying at all
@BradBroaddus: I think my life would have turned out differently had I forwarded those chain letters in the 80's.
@dave_cactus: HER: Are you free Friday night? ME: Let me check my colander. HER: Your... ME: *checking* Nope, sorry, I'll be making spaghetti.
@CoreyNotKori: My handwriting has slowly morphed from cheerleader to serial killer to elephant with a paint brush.