@wolfmannjr: No, YOU didn't tighten the cap on my urine sample
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@Coolisiana: GOD- "I will send a plague that will kill all living things on earth" *Fish slip the LORD a $20* "On second thought how about a flood?"
@JaySuch: When I see someone texting and driving I swerve my car into them and try to run them off the road cause texting and driving is illegal.
@jake_likes_naps: Her: are you single? [flashback to 2011 where I tried to kiss a girl but she turned away and I kissed her cheek] Me: haha idk
@LMGinTN: This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it's contagious.