@wolfmannjr: No, YOU didn't tighten the cap on my urine sample
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@RandomAntics: I'm told as a lady in my 30s I shouldn't wear certain things anymore - like halter tops, pigtails, and the scalps of my vanquished enemies.
@HairyJew4Life: Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
@ibid78: Birds do it, bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let's do it, let's fly headfirst into a plate glass window.
@ddsmidt: When my hairdresser asked me if I intentionally styled my hair like that, I panicked. I told her someone jumped me in the parking and styled it. I’m a quick thinker you know.