@shayf_: No YOU sober up, lamp.
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@sara_ashlynn: My mom called and gave me the weekly weather report. I can't wait to do this to my kids.
@timdonakowski: Pee your name in the snow and you'll quickly understand why they teach cursive in our schools.
@GrandadJFreeman: Most girls: "I hangout with guys, there's less drama." Me: "I hangout by myself. There's no drama & I don't have to wear pants."