@weinerdog4life: No, your baby was definitely crying before I dropped it, that's why I dropped it.
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@Cidisn: Auto mechanic: Well here's your problem. The last person to work on this didn't wash their hands after using the restroom.
@melibuff: Damn boy, are you wearing an anti-gravity suit? 'Cause I'm not the least bit attracted to you.
@WildeThingy: Teacher "Hi, why are you here?" Me "Um, isn't this the beginners' philosophy class?" Teacher "Yes and you're off to a really bad start."