@Sickayduh: No, YOU'RE a nary tract infection
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@globetrottgirl: Come on Canada, first Celine, then Nickelback, NOW Bieber!? Are you TRYING to provoke a war?
@_Water_Baby: *at casino* When he hands you $100 and asks you to go get chips, do not ask him Doritos or Lays. Get both. It will leave him speechless.
@wittwitbarista: Ever notice how pathetically lonely you are when the person in the next bathroom stall completely ignores your knock knock joke?