@DaddyJew: No, YOUUU had a kid just so you could have someone to eat pizza and play video games with
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@causticbob: A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
@Jeffwni: [hears a voice in the sky] - Is it you? GOD?! [kneels] Voice: Could the idiot on platform 4 stop kneeling every time I make an announcement?
@Kyle_Raney: How to open a letter: 1. Carefully remove seal 2. Slide your finger unde--okay the seal is back GET THAT SEAL OUT OF THE ROOM NO SEALS ALLO