@tomcashgent: Noah had a younger brother called Rick who just built a speedboat and saved 9 cheetahs
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@1followernodad: the thing about the weather getting colder is that it makes you think you want to date someone when what you want is heavy socks
@TheDailySchmuck: [Eating unhealthy potato at restaurant] Cop: You're under arrest. Me: What's the charge? [Lowers sunglasses] Cop: a salt and buttery.