@tomcashgent: Noah had a younger brother called Rick who just built a speedboat and saved 9 cheetahs
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@sammyrhodes: Watching Dora with the kids this morning. I wish her parents would just get her an iPhone.
@sexorpizza: Friend: Hey guess what? Me: What? Friend: No, guess! Me: I don't need this friendship that bad.
@simoncholland: If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself.