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@Parentpains: Apparently, women only enjoy a nice romantic breakfast in bed when they know how you got in their house.
@huntigula: Winnie the Pooh: will u marry me? Piglet: for the last time, u don't get a literal "honey" moon Pooh: pls say yes I need to see for myself
@troublewinks: Officer: You drinking? Me: You buying? Oh how we laughed and laughed.... PS: I need bail money.
@onion_an: Interviewer: Have you worked in a fertility clinic before? Me: No [nervous because it's my 1st interview] Me: But I used to be an embryo