@ShoutingGoddess: Nobody can negotiate like a 4 year old told he has 2 minutes til bed.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KeetPotato: [tv commercial] me: "know what i'd love for breakfast?" mum: "what's that son?" me: "if someone pre-chewed my food" narrator: "porridge"
@mayamanion: Who needs whips and chains? Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.
@flaskofwhiskeyy: Whoever said "out of sight, out of mind" has never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.
@iwearaonesie: wife:Gotta go. You guys gonna be ok? me [making my Pop-Tart pop out of the toaster and trying to catch it] Come on! wife:9, you're in charge