@InsouciantMan: Nobody ever sneezes in movies.
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@1Happytwit: They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn't mean to eat it. I don't want to be a bug.
@hoedeehoe: Aliens: take us to your leader Me: ok guys listen- he's probably going to deport you but there is a small chance he'll want to marry you
@trojansauce: HAIRDRESSER: *holding mirror* and the back? DRACULA: *nodding* um.. yeah.. sure.. great thanks
@Thrill_Tweeter: [The mid 20s catch up] "What are you drinking, who you seeing?" [The midlife catchup] "Who's your therapist, what are you taking for it?"