@gingerfaced: Nobody gracefully gets out of a beanbag chair.
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@QwertyJones3: INTERVIEWER: You worked in a NASCAR pit crew? How does that qualify you to work here at the Men's Wearhou *I've already changed his pants*
@vineyille: If you like piña coladas / Getting caught in the rain / Drink this piña colada / It was caught in the rain
@Dirty_Naomi: I sleep with a knife under my bed in case I can't open my midnight snacks. It also comes in handy if people try to steal them.