@gingerfaced: Nobody gracefully gets out of a beanbag chair.
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@murrman5: is your name melissa? "yes" are you married? "to you sadly" yes or no please "yes" do you like the lie detector I bought for your birthday?
@KarenKilgariff: When you die, you walk down a tunnel of light and then that sentient paperclip from MS Word pops up and asks you what you want to do next.
@MUMSIEesq: Give them a Cheesecake Factory gift card this holiday season so they know you "grocery store checkout line" love them
@myonlymizztake: When you said you wanted to show me a stiff one, I had no idea you worked in a morgue.