@iQuoteComedy: What's that thing called when your crush likes you back? Oh yeah. Imagination.

@FeverFlave: If you balance your medication correctly you can blank out an entire morning meeting.

@BuckyIsotope: All animals are wild animals if you give them tequila and lift up their t-shirts.

@Go2Slp: How to sports: - Take a ball - Put it someplace someone else doesn't want you to put it - Congratulations you've now sportsed

@mjkspeaks: It's impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone.