@SuperRandomish: Nobody is as conflicted as a Jewish zombie about to eat Kevin Bacon.
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@TheAlexNevil: Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And I'm terrible with decisions, so I went home.
@peetiesays: Diamond engagement rings are so last year. Ask for her hand in marriage by presenting her with a full tank of gas.
@DJRotaryRachel: Not saying Lois Lane is a shitty reporter but my friend showed up without his glasses on today and I recognized him after like 20 minutes.
@ddsmidt: If someone shows up at my house unannounced, I won't open the door. I just stand on the other side of the glass shaking my head no.