@SuperRandomish: Nobody is as conflicted as a Jewish zombie about to eat Kevin Bacon.
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@Dutch_50: Survey: Are you a Democrat or a Republican? Me: Labels are for soup cans Survey: Can you tell us which way you're leaning? Me: Clam chowder
@JamesBarretts: Immediately after giving birth to me my mom was charged with crimes against humanity
@TheCatWhisprer: Just Friends is my favorite movie that shows fat guys how to get out of the friendzone through perseverance and becoming Ryan Reynolds.