@LurkAtHomeMom: Nobody is hungrier than a child who's just been told it's time for bed.
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@Capt_Spanky: Text to wife: "Would you bring me my " and my phone suggests "girlfriend." My phone is trying to kill me.
@RexHuppke: Fox News: Witnesses are telling us Michael Brown may have charged Officer Darren Wilson atop a dragon, wielding a poison-tipped broadsword