@Caissie: Nobody on this train is decent enough to give up their seat for a pregnant woman & now I gotta stand here w/my sweater balled up in my coat.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LindaInDisguise: Me: Help! i need my stomach pumped. 911 Operator: Did you ingest poison, ma'am? Me: No. Pizza.
@AtticusFinch79: [bakery] Him: This wedding cake is perfect for us! Look at all of the tiers! Me: Definitely not happy tears Him: What? Me: What?
@caperbc75: My dream girl? Dirty blond hair, strong arms, cold eyes, immaculately shaped facial hair, no remorse -Are you describing Chuck Norris? Yes
@KateWouldHaveIt: Before you ask me to proofread anything, know that I spent 30 years thinking "FAQs" was short for "Facts".