@Caissie: Nobody on this train is decent enough to give up their seat for a pregnant woman & now I gotta stand here w/my sweater balled up in my coat.
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@KalvinMacleod: HER: it’s over between us ME: is it because of all my embroidery puns? HER: I thought you would stop ME: sew it seamed
@Miss_Firefly_: My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I'm suspicious that I'm up to something i dont want myself to know about.
@lecalabara: Hey Doorknob, if I wanted something in my life that was hairy, condescending and using me for food, I would get a cat.
@Ideal_Victoria: I spotted a subtweet and also spotted a squirrel with a juice box... I'll let you guess which one had a greater impact on my life.