@E_Ville13: Nobody suspects that you're digging a grave when you're always working on your landscape.
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@jergarl: Shia Labeouf always looks like he's trying to teach math after someone just waved smelling salts under his nose.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don't want anymore children living on our street.
@SlipCarefully: To avoid looking at the glass as half empty or full, i drink straight from the bottle.