@E_Ville13: Nobody suspects that you're digging a grave when you're always working on your landscape.
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@SortaBad: I've been informed by TSA that my man-bun is not allowed on the plane. They fear a riot from horny women clamoring to sit next to me
@JaneBadall: Expecting an idiot to admit they're wrong feels a lot like trying to put socks on an octopus.
@AIMMadellynne: Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn't have.