@NervousJr: Nobody tell my husband that "year round periods" aren't a thing.
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@WigCannon: "Can I see your ID?" Sure, it's... *lowers sunglasses* *raises them* *lowers them again* "What are you doing?" I don't know.
@ChickenColeman: Atheists swear they not going to hell just cuz they don't believe in it. nigga I don't believe in having a job but I still go to work
@detroit_et: Girl on Facebook Heyy i have not seen u since high school. Me. It's been a while. Her. Yea been married 6 years now : ) Me. Unfriend
@Cpin42: Have you found them? "Not yet, sir.” THEY'RE MUTANT TURTLES THAT DO KARATE. HOW HARD COULD IT BE? "They wear tiny masks, sir.”