@NervousJr: Nobody tell my husband that "year round periods" aren't a thing.
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@TheTobbie: Is it racist that I've been talking to this one white chick on my street for months now & just realized she's actually 5 white chicks?...
@GrantTanaka: 7 is asleep, 8 is on his iPad, and 12 is all like "hey dad, why don't you remember our names"
@patrickmarkryan: Two drivers crash into each other. They both finish writing their texts before getting out of their cars to inspect the damage