@TheTobbie: NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! Except my government, boss, his wife, my girlfriend, my parents, my doctor, friends, neighbours, their dogs...
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@knot_eye: I just vacuumed my dog to cut down on indoor shedding, if you're looking for a life coach or whatever.
@velweb: My 12 yr. old girl is having a sleepover tonight. She told me, "DO NOT EMBARRASS ME!" I'm considering twerking to Ace of Base later.
@prontopup: Kristen Stewart is proof that if you're making a face and someone slaps you on the back it will get stuck like that forever.
@ilovepie84: I put a message in a bottle and threw it in the Ocean. The note said "I have Tuberculosis and I coughed in this bottle"