@LizHackett: Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret.
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@deardilettante: How's it going? "I'm so glad you asked, really need to talk to someone right now" You're supposed to say 'fine' & ask how I am. Bye.
@AsgardianRose: Every kiss begins with 'K' I whisper quietly to myself as I read his one letter response to my last 7 text messages.
@backporchlady: Asking me if I want a bag for the box of tampons I just bought is like asking me if they're for here or to go.