@HanaMichels: Nobody's coming to my pizzarrhea I don't get it!!!
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@SadieSkyNinja: [if my cat tweeted] When "over 38" is sad and missing her boyfriend, I try and cheer her up by peeing on her shoes and puking on her phone.
@sarcasticmommy4: Me: I think I’ll try to lose 5 pounds. HIM: That would be good. ME: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S GOOD? HIM: .... ME: *rage opens Oreos*
@tarashoe: STRANGER: she has a book. cute and smart ME: [taking a bite of the small layer cake i made to look like a book] STRANGER: a stunning genius