@Bob_Janke: I don't know what upsets me more, the fact that that guy stole my tweet or that he only got 2 retweets off of it

@myonlymizztake: His last words were, "I'm just going to tell her to calm down, and remind her that she still hasn't made dinner."

@HomeProbably: [at restaurant] Me: What's under all that garnish? Her: Nothing, it's a salad.

@jake_lach: Lady pulled away with the gas pump still in her car and I was like OMG who's your dealer?

@jacksfilms: So Canada gets an entire day? What about Narnia or Middle-Earth or Westeros or other made up places #CanadaDay