@trims_the_fat: None of this is appropriate for anybody. Take the 18+ out of your bio.
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@amydillon: [concert] SINGER: How's everyone feeling tonight??? ME: Whooo, kind of stressed, I'm in standoff with my HOA regarding lawn ornamentation!!!
@VeganZebra: *drinking my first beer with my dad* "I can't believe you made me eat the other ones"
@AlanFelyk: Her: I’m done with you and everybody who looks like you. Me: What did Wilford Brimley ever do to you?
@ibid78: You kids have no idea how lucky you are. Back in my day we had to shave our jokes into the sides of cats and throw those cats at passers by.