@HilariousEdited: noooooo 💀😂
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@catcerveny: As my mother-in-law and I fight to the death for her son's love, I sometimes think to myself, "This may be the worst prize ever."
@vanderwangwe: Her: Are you even listening to me or are you just tweeting? Me: Yes sweetie, I hate her too.
@TheMichaelRock: Boss: Anyone have anything else to add to this meeting? Me: Yes. I am awesome. Boss.... Me: Write that shit down.
@_NinJar: A missing 3YO was found inside a bowling alley claw game. After many failed attempts to get him out, police just settled on the turtle doll.