@GrumpyBahr: North Carolina just legalized same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
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@amishschool: Thirty days sober folks. Not consecutively, but here and there over the years. I'm estimating.
@DaddyJew: [lunch break] Gf: I have 30min Me: you thinking what im thinking? Gf: oh yea *starts undressing Me: *googles closest laser tag location
@dxblarssonENG: Top three reasons he doesn't text you back: 1. He's just not that into you 2. He's imaginary 3. He's a cat