@GrumpyBahr: North Carolina just legalized same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
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@MelKassel: DENTIST: let's get started, shall we? *places drill on tray* ME: um D: *places giant needle on tray* ME: uhhhhh D: *places handgun on tray*
@NewDadNotes: Wife: [on phone] what are you up to? Me: We Bought a Zoo with Matt Damon. Wife: aw I love that movie! Me: what movie? Matt Damon: did you tell her yet? [elephant noise in the background] what did she say?
@enclaire: Bored, so I'm going to find a kid that looks like me and tell her I'm her from the future.