@AsgardianRose: North Korea banned the use of sarcasm towards the government; I wouldn't last an hour before they executed me.
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@corysnearowski: In 5th grade I had to do a report on Ben Franklin and my parents interpreted it as me liking him so my 11th birthday was Ben Franklin themed
@Underchilde: “I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job, but...” —People who are found buried in the woods
@LurkAtHomeMom: The inventor of Gogurt has died. He would like you to open his urn along the dotted line and splatter half the ashes all over your shirt.
@McMcmadmac: My mothers nearly 80 and she still doesn't need glasses. She drinks right out of the bottle!