@ryaninco: North Korea is becoming like that annoying person that always threatens to close their Twitter account from lack of attention.
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@duplicitron: *returns four pounds of skirt steak to butcher* I'm sorry. This just doesn't fit me like I thought it would.
@vladchoc: Hey look, Grandma! You made the cover of "Didn't Make Me Any Cookies Weekly" again. "What good is she to anyone?" it says.
@djdarrellripley: Me: Go to school! 9yr Old: It's Sunday. Me: Go to church! 9yr Old: I'm Jewish. Me: Convert!