@AnitaHelmet: Not a catfish. Just behind on my lip waxing.
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@GrowlyGrego: "Thanks for turning me into an expression of contempt. Sorry about making delicious nourishment so damned accessible." -Low-hanging fruit
@ARealTinderella: Whenever I tinker with the idea of a having a relationship, I go spend a night with my married friends.
@weinerdog4life: The cops say I have to stop trying to fist fight the guy who tries to feed my house letters everyday.
@BevisSimpson: To little kid eyeing my McDonalds: thats right i can eat this any time i want... Dont ask about any of the other parts of my life please.