@SunshineJarboly: not a day goes by that i don't think about dying and then accidentally getting sent to squirrel heaven
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@ericsshadow: This is so embarrassing, what's your name again? - me, the first 30 times I meet everyone
@OhNoSheTwitnt: No thanks, babies. If I'm going to let something inside of my body that's going to destroy my figure, it'll be cheese, bread and booze.
@13spencer: If you're walking down the street and see a teenager, don't panic; just yell "One Direction selfie twerk" and slip away in the confusion.