@claire_mudie: NOT all policemen are strippers.
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@VodkaShorebird: GUY 1: Why can’t we skip rope without society judging us? GUY 2: What if we occasionally beat the crap out of each other? Boxing is born.
@ClichedOut: WAITER: u can choose between 5 potato options and a salad ME: the 5 potato options, please
@OtherDanOBrien: GUY: Your logic is flawed. According to experts- ME: Excuse me, but I practiced this argument in my head & you're saying the wrong things
@EamonToPlease: [baby is bouncing in swing seat] I I wish I had one of those. HER DAD They bring great joy. I (to self) Oh, he thinks I mean a baby.