@LaBaPete: Not everyone understands my laundry method. It's simple. If it's clean, it's on the floor. If it's dirty, it's on the floor over there.
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@inmynewskin: Losing weight to be attractive is weird. I see you shrunk your body slightly. Now I want you.
@onlxn: TRUMP: I'm gonna lose, huh? RYAN: Yes. [silence] TRUMP: Thank God. RYAN: I know TRUMP: I'd be SO bad at it RYAN: We literally all might die
@blondediva11: My mom keeps telling me there are plenty of fish in the sea. She REALLY doesn't get me anymore. I. Don't. Want. A. Fish.
@Easy_Tiger__: People who take things literally on twitter, stop. Wait. First take this tweet literally, then stop.