@Cpin42: NOT EVERYONE WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING, MOM. SOME OF US WERE TRYING TO BREAK IT UP.
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@Izianikapani: Yet again my date made me get out of his car before we'd even had dinner. Uber is the worst dating app ever.
@polksalad: Just found out my cat lied about being pregnant just to try and save our relationship and cover up for getting fat.
@marknorm: You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
@robin_991: Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a good chat. Unrelated, there are 1273 Cheerios left in this box.