@Cpin42: NOT EVERYONE WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING, MOM. SOME OF US WERE TRYING TO BREAK IT UP.
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@internetluke: [mom ridiculing me in front of new GF] "Luke was afraid to go into family changing rooms until 22 because he thought he'd get a new family"
@sheekaxo: Threw some protein bars in the trash & now the raccoons are bench pressing my neighbors Great Dane in the backyard.