@PyrBliss: Not having any friends means I'm always the pretty one.
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@SoulYodeler: Omg I'm so thirsty- *Kool-Aid Man busts through wall* OH YEAHH *Sugar-free zero calorie Kool-Aid Man jiggles door handle* LITTLE HELP HERE
@AndrewChamings: genie: are you sure? me: just do it *my dog winks and gives me a fist bump for the third time*
@JohnLyonTweets: To everyone who received a file from me named myjunk.jpg: I thought I was sending you a photo of my garage sale. I am so, so sorry.
@yonewt: To print a document from your laptop: 1. Select document 2. Click "Print" 3. Walk over to printer to see what the damn problem is this time