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@Vodkantots: Not now, kids.
Mommy's boiling the Easter bunny.
@Neauxpe: If you post a selfie that says "because some of you asked for a new one" I want to see screenshots of where they said that.
@LegoGodzilla: Dangerously attractive guitars get added to the sexy fenders register.
@salmarch79: Whenever my wife forces me to write my own message on a bday card, I write it on top of her's and copy exactly what she wrote.
@Reverend_Scott: Ways to tell a woman's mad at you:
1. She's silent.
2. She's yelling.
3. She acts the same.
4. She acts different.
5. She murdered you.
@Lovelyinthe804: Pretty sure my baby thinks the number after 10 is yay.